I only received this book on Tuesday, but it's already become a firm favourite. How could it not with a title like that: The Decadent Housewife: How to live lavishly on his budget! By Rosemary Counter
It opens with an introduction on what is a decadent housewife, and perhaps more importantly, how can you be one. After all, as the opening pages say: it's a hard job, but somebody's got to do it!
The following chapters are then divided into sections throughout the day, to ensure you get the most out of your decadent housewife routine:
Rise & Shine, 7.30 - 11.30am
"Your man will no doubt be grumpy and somewhat resentful. He is likely exhausted from years of hard work and sleep deprivation. Luckily for you, this has left him in a prime state for your first move of the day. Turn off the alarm and feign a smile. Purr, 'Good morning' into his ear, followed with a chosen pet name. 'Darling' or 'sweetheart' works well for most housewives, but a Decadent Housewife knows to use 'stud' or 'big man' or anything else that reinforces masculinity...
... Emphasise how he is the strongest/smartest/fastest police office/businessman/professional cricket player on the force/board/field. If unsure of occupation, us 'best man on the team'."
Ah - you've got to love it!
Lazy Lunches, Bawdy Brunches, 11.30am - 3.30pm
Already craving a liquid lunch. Take a mid-morning Martini break
Now you're talking!
The Lost Art of Idleness, 3.00 - 5.30pm
From people-watching to napping, bathing to retail therapy, a Decadent Housewife is never bored.
I think I have this section sorted!
Cinq a Sept, 5.30pm - 7.30pm
Satisfied guests, delicious drinks, edible ho d'oeuvers: the dream can be yours - and all without burning your kitchen
Hospitality without Hostility, 7.30pm - 11.30pm
Real world recipes for girls who find chopping mean and basting perverted
Late Nights, Early Mornings, 11.30pm -
Learn the magic man-managing power of your lady parts and you will be truly decadent!
Can you see why I love it!!